Stay Vigilant, My Friends

I realized something this week.  Kids are weasels.  I mean that in the most loving way possible, but make no mistake; they can be sneaky little rodents.  After haranguing my sons into spending more than 10 seconds brushing their teeth it finally dawned on me that even great kids like my boys will get away with whatever they can, whenever they can.  They know teeth need to be brushed, they know it’s part of their daily routine since they started having a daily routine many years ago.  And yet there is slacking off whenever a watchful eye is focused elsewhere.

It doesn’t stop at chores, either.  I see it even when they are doing something they like.  There’s always a shortcut to be found, a corner to be cut.  Recently, while coaching a soccer game I noticed some of the team walking during a pre-game lap around the field.  Not all kids like running laps, but since it’s been part of our warm up since day one you’d think they would stay part of the team and hoof it.  Nope.  When I questioned them about why they walked the last half one of the boys actually said, “It looked like you were just talking to the other coach.”  WHAT!?!  That kid sat the first quarter.

The point is that as parents, there is an ever watchful attention that need be paid whenever the kiddies are given a task.  I don’t like it.  And I strive to teach my guys the independence and responsibility so that I feel comfortable not having to be the all seeing eye.  Thankfully they are learning the lesson well, but still have some lapses.

There is a saying, “Give them and inch and they’ll take a mile.”  This could not apply more to our young ones.  And I think it ties in a bit to a previous article of mine (Hammer Away, My Friends, 03/18/2011) about not being afraid to stay on top of the kids.  There are many reasons that I expect a lot from my kids.  Just one of them is that I have come to know that if I don’t, then the bar will continually slip.  Not just from my perspective, but from there’s as well.  As the parent, if I don’t establish lofty goals while teaching them why and how to do it themselves, who will?  The kids?  Hardly.  We hammer away at chores, goals, whatever, to an extent that may (to the hammeries) seem unattainable.  But in doing so we nudge them into getting to levels that we expect and that we know they can achieve.

Thankfully I am starting to see the fruits of my pestering labor.  The frequency of prodding and reminding does seem to be diminishing.  There are still plenty of areas in which I find that is a constant tug of war between how much is enough and how much they can get away with, but the light at the end of the tunnel is expanding.

So the moral of this tale is to keep up your pestering.  The kids will roll their eyes, and they will push back.  But in the long run, they’ll be better for it.  You will have the satisfaction that they know what it takes to get a job done, what it takes to do more than just expected, and what it takes to truly excel.

Coming Into Their Own

There comes a point in every kid’s life when they stop wanting to be a superhero for a living and start to really figure out what career path they may eventually want to pursue.  Personally, I still have my fingers crossed for that freak accident that will give me telekinetic powers.  For those rooted in the real world, interests will start to form and an actual life path will take shape.

My boys are only 10 and 12, but I’m already starting to see that they are developing interests that may very well stick with them for a long time.  I’m not delusional enough to think that what they say they want to do now will always be, but it’s interesting to watch them formulate such long term plans.

I know perspective is everything, so considering that I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up it’s no secret that I find this fascinating.  If you are one of those people that have always known what you wanted and what career you wanted and actually have that, then you may want to come back next week for my next rant.  However, as I watch my sons develop interests and become their own young men I sit back and smile sometimes.  I wonder if they will really be a scientist (nothing specific yet) or a game designer.  There are a lot of years between now and decision time, but you never know.

It’s a fantastic and scary thing to experience your child growing away from you.  I am absolutely riveted by their interests, and involve myself in my kid’s hobbies, but I’d be blink to think they aren’t already starting to expand from beneath my parental umbrella.  They are better than I am…and you know I can’t say that about too many.  They are considering things that I know I did not when I was 12.  They are level headed, caring and intelligent.  I assume they get most of that from their mom.

Let’s take my 10 year old.  He’s decided to be a game designer.  I know every kid wants to make video games at some point, but he seems pretty serious about it so far.  Last night he gave me the resume of Todd Howard.  Don’t know Todd Howard?  I didn’t either.  Mr. Howard is a Producer and Senior Game Designer for Bethesda Game Studios.  Todd even made it onto Shaun’s (that my 10 year old) school project as someone who inspires him.  Bethesda has some games coming out soon that intrigue him, to say the least, and he has made it his mission to know how they make them.  From the art to programming to storytelling, he’s been all-in for months.  I know that the chances are slim that this will stick, but I truly hope it does.  I want that creative part of his brain to win.  It would be a pleasure to see him spend his life doing what he loves – not what he winds up with.

By this time, you may be asking, “Pete, that’s all very interesting.  But really, what are you trying to say here?  What’s the point?”  HA!  You were expecting a point to this?  Well, I suppose just that it's wonderful to see my children begin to mature enough to know there is a real world out there and that they may have a part in it.  More so, that they have a choice in how to be part of the world.  PPS; that it’s something that they will be able to decide, free of external bias and pressures.  And when the day comes that they will start down a more concrete path, they will be well equipped.