Saturday, March 15, 2014

Just Enough Rope

Today as I enjoy a particularly spicy Monte Cristo on the deck my thoughts have once again turned to my boys.  My oldest is now in high school.  He is very involved...soccer, track, French club, science league...you get the picture.  I couldn't be more proud that he is taking on so many things; becoming such a well rounded young man.  He is having some level of success in each of his endeavors and enjoying himself.

However, and there's always a however, there is growing contention about the flow of information. He seems to either be only getting half of all the information he needs, or forgets half of it when it's time to relay it to us.  Either way, it is increasingly frustrating.

When we notice that this is happening, we press for more details. He doesn't have them or seems put off by our "nagging".  Of course, we want him to be as prepared for whatever as possible, and to be as successful as possible.  I'm sure he appreciates this, but he is that age where he perceives it as meddlesome.  He can do it on his own and thinks he feels the weight of our parental blanket.  Ah, teenagers.

Well, we've come to a conclusion.  There will be no more nagging from mom and dad.  He is growing up and until asked, we will let him chart his own course.  No more reminders about workouts, project preparation, or team requirements.  Ok kid, you're on your own.

As you know, we will not let him get too deep under the coming tide, but wants some room.  He gets it.   Oh sure, we will keep an eye on things.  But I am getting more enjoyment than I should watching him wonder what is next, what is due, what is needed.

It actually feels pretty good.  He's growing up and genuinely wants to tend more to his own garden.  Hs mom and I will be there when the weeds get too thick, but it's an exciting season when as he drives the tractor more on his own.   OK, I admit I took that farming metaphor a step too far.

One of the hardest things we parents can do is give the young ones the requested rope.  But it makes me feel good to have a saving stool at the ready...if requested.

RALSTON HAS SPOKEN