This week a dear family friend lost his grandmother. My oldest son's longest tenured friend had to go through something that Maxwell experienced nearly two years ago. A horrific sudden illness took our friends grandmother. The family, and the massive community that she touched daily, was rightfully devastated.
Through the few weeks that Maxwell's friend went through this, I know they talked, but never really came up about what...normal teen boy stuff, I would assume. However, when she did pass, Maxwell sent his buddy a rather lengthy note. I haven't read it and probably never will...it is theirs to share alone...but he did tell me that he needed to make sure his friend knew that he was not alone. That he had an empathetic ear if needed.
Then, surprisingly, he asked us if he could go to the viewing. I was shocked. But, I was also very proud of him. I don't know many kids his age that would even want to go to a thing like that, let alone make the request before being asked.
We went. When he greeted his friend's grandfather in front of his wife's casket, he wept. Until then he had been stoic as I think he learned from his entirely too compassionate father (wink, wink). He broke down even more when he shook the hand of his friend's dad, who he has known for years as a friend, coach, and all around good guy. And yet even more when he made it down the line to his friend. They greeted each other, and even though not much at all was said...could be said...I think that the substance of the note Maxwell had sent issued forth in emotion only.
They say time heals all wounds. I guess there is truth in that. But I think it's more true that time only covers some of them very, very well. Sometimes it takes just a nudge to snatch off the bandage and let the blood flow a bit.
In a way I was proud of my son to let his wound come bare a little. I think his friend may have an easier time getting through this because of it. Our kids remember, and the memory is deeper feelings than we, er I, would have thought.
Just when I think they may be growing up just like their pop, my boys go and show something that proves otherwise. I couldn't be happier.
RALSTON HAS SPOKEN
