This time it was an Ashton, a pint glass of Beefeaters and tonic, and the company of three gentlemen whose presence make any leisure activity better. These are the things that helped to reboot my weary psyche. It’s something that I had needed for a very long time. Until it was over, I wasn’t even aware of how much it was needed, but by-god it feels great. Such simple things can give us a massive shot of psychological and emotional adrenaline.
As we sat at the bar, exchanging tales of yore, sipping our drinks and reliving the days exploits on the golf course, I wondered how I could have missed such a simple solution. Up early, first off the tee (and not playing as badly as expected) a great cigar at the turn and five hours of nothing existing but this outing with friends. If there is a better recipe for a great day I don’t know what it is.
It made me think that as we work and parent and husband and coach and care, we stretch ourselves without knowing to what limits. Like butter scraped over too much bread. Hehe – sorry, I couldn’t resist that. It creeps up on us, at least it did me. As the days progressed, I was busy but not unhappy about it. Life just churned along, but the longer things went unchanging, the long it seemed to be. It didn’t seem to me that anything was out of the ordinary. Those days turn into weeks and then months. Then one night I found myself awake in front of the TV at 3am because I couldn’t sleep - AGAIN.
As I sat watching Frasier reruns I realized that I was bone weary and mentally dragging. Not just that night, but in general. “Well,” I told myself, “guess I just need some sleep, things will get better soon.” Of course things did not improve. I don’t mean to sound too pathetic. I was not, and am not as miserable as all that. But life has a way of creeping in you, settling in, weighing you down and making you feel like that’s the way it’s supposed to be.
Well damn it, it’s not. I have a wonderful wife, two great sons, family I love, and the best group of friends I could ask for, so what’s up? Why would I be dragging so slowly? Guess what I discovered. Sometimes you just have to do something for yourself. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Sounds like something we all do anyway. I found it was not as common as I thought.
Now, before you all start thinking I’m a big whiny puss, please stop. Know that I realize I’m not working in a coal mine. I don’t exactly have a hard life. I’m generally a pretty happy guy. But even jolly fellows like me need a shot in the arm every now and then. If you were as selfless, generous and accommodating as yours truly you would understand.
So as it turned out, a chance to play a great golf course presented itself and I took full advantage. I didn’t hurry right home. We played a leisurely 18, lingered at the bar just a little, stopped in to visit my mom on the way home and once there had a refreshing dip in the pool. It was a great day. It was what I needed to change my general outlook. It’s a kindler gentler Pete that has emerged and I think those closest to me will notice a difference…geez, I really hope they do, or I might just be that curmudgeon I was evolving into.
Anyway, be careful. You think you’re being a good dad, and husband, and son, etc by keeping on the good path…and you are…but be good and selfish now and then. As long as it’s not and expense of a loved one, you’ll thank yourself and be fortified for those long stretches when it just can’t happen frequently enough.
RALSTON HAS SPOKEN
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