What goal is lofty enough? Is being part of a team, sharing in the successes and failures, reveling as part of the group what is best, even though the contribution may be limited? Or is it to be an integral part, being the focus of the squad and knowing that you are held to the higher standard and expectations?
In general, we all know what is best in life. It is to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and hear....sorry, I couldn't resist.
But to the point at hand. The answer, even for me, is really not clear. We all must choose our own level of satisfaction and come to grips with the memory of what that created. I was a decent athlete in my youth, teetering on being something better. Whether through lack of drive, complacency or just well developed sense of self, I found my self always in the upper middle class of sports teams. I excelled, but never really took the next step to the higher level of whatever sport in which I was involved. I wonder sometimes if I could have been good enough to get to the upper echelons of my sporting endeavors. But I also know that I always had a tremendous amount of satisfaction from any that I tried.
I always found myself a counted on member of the team. Someone that may not be the absolute best, but always to be turned to in a tough spot in order to push the team ahead. I thrived in that role. I enjoy that position in life in general. So that is what my perspective is as I watch my sons develop on their athletic careers. Win, lose or draw; good or bad; you're part of a team and you need to do what's best for the whole. There's a Star Trek reference in there, but I don't want to upstage Conan above.
I see both in my boys. One is happily climbing the ladder, getting better and having coaches take note. The other is a good play, but lacks the instinct (or desire, I think) to really go for it. They are both very happy to be a member of a team, but their approach to get what each want out of it differs significantly. And that is what makes me wonder sometimes if there is a better path.
We all know there really is no better way. We all know that as long as they are happy and thriving young adults in general, what they accomplish in youth sports is all but worthless. It's the approach to it that I wonder about. Will the lack of drive carry over into other/all areas of life? Will the focus to succeed leave one without a well rounded outlook? Not sure either way. Perhaps I had a little too much of one and not enough of the other as I grew up. Maybe this is one of the many things we see in our kids that we want to correct in ourselves. Maybe this is one of the times where I need to step back just a little and watch what I can learn from how my kids handle something even though my memory of the same situation still leaves a bit of a sour taste in my mouth. With any luck an old dog can learn a new trick.
RALSTON HAS SPOKEN
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