Man Cave = Caveman?

I've been thinking lately about the "Man Cave" and why the whole concept terribly overrated.  I will admit that the idea of having a fortress of solitude adorned with all manner of sports and movie paraphernalia and posters of scantily clad women does indeed have a certain appeal.  But the more I consider the thinking that goes into a man cave, the more I think I would not want one.

On it's face, the man cave is a fun guy-centric place for the man of the house and his man friends.  No real harm in it, I suppose.  But I can't help shake the nagging feeling that just a little deeper is something not so perfect.  It's an exclusionary feeling that I think I wouldn't want in my home.  Is there any place I wouldn't want my wife or kids to feel comfortable in there own home?  Am I to be that inaccessible because me and fella's are watching the game?  Even asking those questions makes me squirm a little.

I know men who have rooms like this and I've been in many of them that look and fell great.  They are usually very comfortable, are adorned with all manner of sports/movie memorabilia, and generally include a massive TV.  I can't say I haven't enjoyed my time there.  There's always a thought, however, "I wonder if the wife has a spot all to herself, or the kids?"  Sometimes they do. And when a family is "lucky" enough to have enough space for dad to have his cave, mom her sitting room and kids their game room, each can treat their area as they wish without intruding on the others.  Anyone can retreat into their corner of the world and immerse themselves in their own considerations.

But this seems to raise more issues than it solves.  How does this family spend time together?  Do the kids really want to hang with mom while she lounges on her day bed with a good book? (yes, that is a ridiculous stereotype, but I'm trying to make a point)  Does mom want to watch ESPN classic while slugging down a cold one?  It just doesn't feel right, does it?

I can't say that there are not times that I want to be alone.  But for the most part, I like hanging out with my wife and kids.  Whether I find myself playing Xbox, watching a game or just reading I like having them around.

Now, stop.  If you have a "man cave", stop rolling your eyes at me.  It's all a matter of choice, of lifestyle...and hell, maybe on a level I'm a little jealous.  But it does make you think, doesn't it?  If your home really is your castle (or kingdom for this reference) why would you want it divided into smaller internal duchies?